Cubicle Chronicles

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Barbara: 90% Go-getter. 10% Queen of life.

Barbara knocks over anyone that gets in her way.  You’d think that was a good thing but it’s not.  She also knocks over anyone that exists.  She’s a go getter and the queen of life.  A mixture of perfection that is almost overwhelming.  She’s always neat, tidy and her cubicle smells like having your grandmas cookies in a field of spring flowers.  The smell of Clorox wipes ruins any nostalgia that you might feel. You politely smile as you walk passed but that’s not enough.  “Hello!” springs Barbara from her therapeutic computer chair.  “Did you get all of your paperwork done?” “I got all of mine done and..” You’ve literally just closed off your ears for the rest of this conversation. You know where this is going.  She’s making a squeaking noise like a guinea pig because you’re toning her out.  It’s kind of hilarious but laughing will only raise questions that you’re not willing to answer. Remember, your listening ears are turned off.

She ends her run on sentences of all that she’s accomplished.  Your certain she threw in all that you haven’t.  “That’s great, Barbara.” is your only answer and you swiftly move passed on to your cubicle.

You put all of your junk down on your desk only to blast your coffee in all directions.  Although you just bought this overpriced Starbucks drink, it’s now covering your desk.  Your papers look so “hipster” now.  Vintage coffee stains.. At least thats what you tell yourself.

Maybe tomorrow will be less eventful in your crazy world.  DIY home away from home cubicle pins are out the window.  Thanks but no thanks Pinterest.

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