Everybody wants to be happy right?
I’m the worlds worst at being negative. I can find the negative in things when the positive things are right in front of me.
How do I make myself happy?
Well one major thing I’ve realized in my life is to not depend on others for happiness. Sure you can depend on your soulmate for comfort and guidance. Stray away from relying on others completely. If you’re stuck thinking “I NEED this person or I can’t be happy” you need to end those feeling as soon as you think them.
In life whether it be friendships or intimate relationships you have to love yourself first before you’ll get anywhere. I always heard everyone saying this when I was younger and it totally made no sense to me. I thought.. “Who cares? I don’t need to love myself. That’s so overrated.” Typical teen right there.
If you don’t love yourself that’s where it all falls back on your dependence of others supplying the happiness. It’s totally okay for your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife to make you feel extravagant. You just have to think without that person for a moment. Are you truly a happy person? If you had never met this person and were without them would you be happy? If the answer is no you need to take the right steps towards feeling positive and confident.
1. Feeling Confident
You don’t have to meet up to societies standards of being beautiful. You are your own person and everyone has their own special qualities. The scar on your forehead that you got when you were 10 is a part of you. Think of your flaws and imperfections as a treasure. It’s something that you have that no one else does. If your best friends sisters cousin has a similar scar it’s still not like yours. Everyone is different and it would be completely stupid to say that someone is flawless. It’s utterly impossible for someone to not have these so called flaws and imperfections. I used to see celebrities and wonder.. “Why are they so perfect?” They seem to have perfect bodies. They don’t have stretch marks. They don’t have patchy skin imperfections. Every bit of their skin seems to match perfectly. Their teeth are bright white and their hair looks like a million bucks.
All of these people have been touched up by professional makeup and hair stylists. If I were a celebrity I would be myself one hundred percent. When people catch celebrities without makeup paparazzi pictures they are shocked at what they find. They are people just like you and me. They have those imperfections just like we do. It all comes down to who wants to hide them and who doesn’t. Why should you hide something that’s a part of you? Confidence is something that makes someone beautiful on the inside and out. If you accept your flaws and imperfections you’ll be a much happier person. Pick out your favorite qualities. Maybe it’s your eyes or nose. Maybe it’s something simple like the freckle on your cheek. Appreciate all of your qualities.
2. Forgive Yourself
Some people hang on to the past so much that if affects their daily lives. The time you lied to your child because you really didn’t want to go to the park or maybe it was something much more than time. People make mistakes and that’s normal. If you didn’t make mistakes I’m not sure you’d gain any common sense. We know right from wrong but that doesn’t mean we slip up. If you mess up you have to learn from your mistakes. We learn from making mistakes and messing things up. If you do you should look at that as a learning experience rather than hating yourself for something you’ve done. Learn to forgive yourself. Take the consequences for your actions, learn from the experience and move on.
3. Stop Negativity and Criticism
I’m sure we all judge ourselves from time to time. It’s what we do as humans. Whether were jealous of something or someone it’s bound to happen at some point in our lives. Your view on your self worth is important in being happy.
Ex: “Why does Amy have to be so much better than me at everything.”
You have to understand that we are different from Amy and everyone else. Stop trying to live up to everyone else’s standards and enjoy who you are. In reality Amy could be thinking the same things about you. We waste so much time being caught up in how others are acting and trying to do the right things. If we all were supposed to act and do the same things in life it would be a boring world to live in. No one could love one another because they were different from the rest. Stop criticizing yourself and critiquing everything you do. You are your own person. If you don’t accept who you are you’re taking the risk of someone missing out on who you truly are.
4. Getting Rid of Toxic People
If you’re holding on to someone you care deeply about that is bringing you down you have to let go. Easier said than done but if you don’t it will be hard to find happiness. Let’s just say that you adore your best friend. She’s someone that you can talk to about anything. The only problem is drama. She lives and breathes the stuff and somehow you always get drug into it. You’re stressing out because of a rumor that she started about another friend. Who’s side are you on? You can’t be on both and you can’t please everyone. Let’s say your best friend only calls you when they’re bored and have nothing to do. You care about this friend but the stress of feeling unimportant and use overwhelms you. You need to end these kinds of relationships. It’s going to be a constant battle of back and forth drama. You’re upset because you’ve been ditched by your so called best friend. They never called you back and could care less that you were waiting for an hour at Applebee’s. If you find yourself in relationships with others that cause a dramatic increase of stress it doesn’t matter how you feel about them. You can try talking to them about the situation but if nothing changes they need to go.
5. Take Care of Yourself Physically
You don’t need to always wear the best clothes but studies have shown that doing something for yourself results in positive feelings. Treat yourself to the spa. Get your hair or nails done. Just do something that makes you feel good about yourself. Wear the things you want to wear not what is in style unless that is what you like. Don’t waste time trying to fit the standards.
6. Be Positive Even When You’re Not
Sometimes it’s hard to be positive. You’ve lost your job and you don’t know how you’re going to make ends meet. You apply for some other jobs and don’t get a call when you expected it. Now you’re in the bathroom sobbing about how bad your life sucks. You have to life yourself back and say “I will get that job!” Confidence and positivity is noticed by others around us. If your negativity is surrounding you maybe your interview won’t go as well as you had hoped. Even in the worst situations you have to create positive self talk. It’s better to be positive than negative. There’s nothing to lose only something to gain.
7. Take a Walk
Sometimes being outdoors helps build you up when you’re done. Sunlight helps defeat depression. It helps build your serotonin levels which has a positive effect on mood and even sleeping. Sit outside at least 15 minutes a day. It’s worth it and you get some healthy vitamins in the process.
If you’re still feeling down and feeling like you can’t cope a counselor or someone to confide in would be a good option. Sometimes just telling someone how you feel can lift a weight off of your shoulders. You should never hold in stress and let it build up. You have to find ways to release it whether it be yoga, kickboxing, or just talking to a friend. Be happy being you! 🙂